Wedding Breeze

Dowry is a big issue in many countries, especially Asian countries. In India, people avoid having girls because it means the families would have to start saving for their marriage at a young age. Some gifts include TV sets, cars, cows and other things, depending on which part they come from. In Chinese tradition, the items are more symbolic, and the amount of money depends on the families.

Dowry is given by the bride’s parents to their daughter and future son-in-law. This is done on the same day as Guo Da Li or Betrothal. The gifts are to give blessings to the couple and to demonstrate that the bride is prepared to become a wife and a mother.

My mother still keeps all the items. She refuses to throw away this orange baby bathtub. I remember some photos of me splashing happily in the bathtub. This is probably to encourage the couple to have children. At the same time, a potty and a basin are required items.

Apart from child-bearing gifts, other gifts such as a sewing kit, tea sets, bowl set, lamps and towels are given. These items are there mainly to symbolise how capable the bride will be when she becomes a wife. The lamps are to show the couple they will have a bright future ahead, and the crockery items are to show they will have more than sufficient food to eat, signifying wealth.

I’ve heard of mothers giving S$1888 or more. I’m not sure what the market rate is, though this is more dependent on the families. After all, a dowry is just an auspicious gift from the family to the couple. It is really important to have a happy wedding, than one where people are unhappy over money.

Source: The Sunday Times 27 July 2008

Guo Da Li is a traditional Chinese practice of the groom’s family asking for the permission from the bride’s parents for the hand of bride. This is usually conducted one or two weeks before the wedding. For the more traditional families, they will consult the almanac to select the date and time for this practice.

It is important as it is one of the few formal occasions the two families will come together before the actual day. Both sides should treat both parties respectfully. I have heard of how a groom’s family offended the bride’s family and the bride’s mother was so worked up that she refused to attend the wedding.

The purpose of this is to show that groom is able to support a family and also that the family will take good care of the daughter after the marriage. At the same time, the bride’s family will return some of the things to show that they are not selling their daughter.

Depending on the dialect groups, there are various gifts. Coming from a Teochew family, it is quite important to get the four pieces of jewellery, better known as the Si Dian Jin. Traditionally, it refers to four pieces of gold jewellery. They make include gold chain, gold pendant, gold earrings, and gold bangle. However, with the changes in taste, it can be known as Si Dian Zhuan, referring to diamonds.

I do not wear earrings, so hopefully I will get something else instead. It’s a little bit tricky here, because I really dislike yellow gold. However, yellow gold has more value than diamonds. But since people buy it to keep and not to sell, hopefully the groom’s family will buy what the bride will like.

For some families, the jewellery is bought by the groom’s mother. Some mothers of the grooms will get the bride-to-be to go to the jewellery shop together to select the pieces. What is more important is the thought that counts. Don’t be too greedy and ask for really expensive items, especially if you know the money from the mother-in-law will come from your husband. Even if it is her own savings, it is even more important to think about the financial ability. This is not a time to show off wealth at the expense of happiness. At the same time, some people get offended if they feel the value is too low.

Some shops such as Poh Heng cater specially to such items. They have an entire set for people to choose from. It all depends on your liking.

For the Cantonese, they will bring dried seafood. Pig trotters are given to Hokkiens. Nowadays, people bring canned food instead of the wet items. This is simply more hygienic and convenient. Customs will change over time and just go along with it.

Finally, other items include oranges, liquor, and dragon and phoenix candles. Accepting the dragon candles signifies that her family accepts the groom as a son-in-law. Offering the phoenix candles to the groom’s family symbolises the giving of their daughter’s hand.

Source: The Sunday Times 27 July 2008

This will be the first of many interviews of beautiful brides on how they prepare or had prepared for their amazing weddings. I’m very honoured to have Rozanah for my first interview. Rozanah held two wedding ceremonies, one traditional Muslim ceremony and one contemporary Western ceremony. Let’s find out how she went about preparing for her wedding.

S: How long have you been with your husband before you decided to get married?
R: We were together for a good 7 years before we tied the knot. After being together for that long, we reckoned that it’s just natural that we take it a step further and decided to take the plunge – that we’ll end up together for good finally! *LOL*

S: That’s really long! So when did you start planning for your wedding?
R: Hmm.. let me see … we tied the knot in Aug 2005. Two years prior to that, I was already DREAMING about our wedding (HAHA!) but the actual planning & work did not get into gear till about a year later.
So yeps, technically it took me about a year of planning and executing for the whole affair.

Read on Click here to read more »

When I first saw the variety show starring Cynthia Koh and Darren Lim in Australia, I was extremely excited and told myself I wanted to take my wedding photos overseas. One of the shots had Cynthia wearing a purple dress and she and the male model were sitting on the ground in the winery with a picnic basket filled with wine and other food.

 A few months later, I signed up for the package and I went to the same place with the same photographer who tagged along with them. Following the Lavender Series, here is the winery@Margaret River series.

This is a winery in Margaret River, and there is an extremely huge Australian flag. If I’m not wrong, it’s called Voyager Winery. After the show, a lot of Singaporean couples went there to take their photos and the winery started charging people. So, my photographer was rather sneaky and we just pretended to be tourists who went in to take some photographs. Click here to read more »

You may have hired a professional videographer to take videos of your wedding. Do you need to get your friends and relatives to bring their own video cameras as well? Sometimes you may have funny occasions with certain members of the family, and the professional may not be able to capture that, or he or she may think that is not important. At the same time, you can have different parts of the wedding ceremony.

If you only depend on amateurs, you may get shaky footages, or the lighting may not be sufficient. Sometimes, the sound may not be crystal clear, and you can hear the cameraman or woman talking in the background. Certainly, it should not be the Blair Witch Project. The professionals will also be able to decide on the different angles to get the best shot.

Of course, there are methods to overcome that. With fanciful and easy to use video software, people can edit their own videos and add voice-over comments and music. If you are the one doing the entire video montage, then you can choose songs that fit your theme. This will definitely be fun.

If you can afford it, why not get a video camera to film your hen’s party, the wedding preparation and even your honeymoon apart from the wedding itself. After all, if you plan to have children in the future, your video camera will definitely come in handy for the numerous parties and performances.

I saw the Apple iMac video software, and I think it is pretty cool. Why not check out what’s available on the market.